louise
Need More Posts
Posts: 29
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Post by louise on Sept 30, 2008 19:08:52 GMT
2 fat blokes entered a cross country race, the 1st one ran in short bursts, the 2nd ran in burst shorts.
3 drunks jump off a cliff....... 1st has got budgies lined up across his arms, 2nd a chicken on his head, and 3rd is holding a parrot. when they end up in hospital the doctor says "so much for your hen-gliding, budgee-jumping, and parrot-chuting"
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Post by BAD on Oct 1, 2008 4:04:24 GMT
jesus lou were did you get them
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louise
Need More Posts
Posts: 29
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Post by louise on Oct 1, 2008 11:08:44 GMT
ohhhh......... i know, lol they are really really really really really really really really really BAD, b.a.d. :-) just haven't herd any good one's in ages and was bored. i apologise. lol
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louise
Need More Posts
Posts: 29
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Post by louise on Oct 1, 2008 11:25:12 GMT
a drunk has a disastrous go at horse riding, falls from the saddle, grabs hold of the horse's tail, hanging upside down with his feet caught in the stirrups, his head bouncing on the gound. covered in bruises he was nearly unconscious, when..............................
.............................. the woolworths manager came to his rescue --- and unpluged the horse
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Post by BAD on Oct 2, 2008 13:13:31 GMT
GARY GLITTER WAS IN TALKS TO BE THE NEXT ENGLAND COACH , BUT THE APPOINTMENT COLLAPSED WHEN HE TRIED TO PUT SEAMEN IN THE UNDER 15S
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Post by Quinny_wont_save_u on Oct 2, 2008 19:07:41 GMT
Michael Jackson was in a courtroom for Child abuse in a sexual nature. Judge: Do you agree to these charges? MJ: No Judge: Why not? MJ: Well whats the difference between myself and Santa? Judge: Im sorry Mr Jackson, i don't quite follow MJ: Well, if santa can go into childrens bedrooms and empty his sack... why cant i?
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Post by Blayze on Oct 8, 2008 17:26:02 GMT
a group of irish thieves brake into a bank in the centre of dublin, they come across 20 locked safes inside the vault. they crack the first safe and discover no money but jars and jars of vanilla pudding! the thieves decide what the heck lets eat all these too! after cracking all the other safes and discovering they are all the same they angrily eat all the vanilla pudding, leaving with very uneasy stomachs.
the headline the next day: DUBLINS BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!
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Post by Quinny_wont_save_u on Oct 8, 2008 19:22:23 GMT
Man walks into a hotel, and asks for a room for the night. He goes to walk away, then remembers something he meant to ask. "Excuse me madam, but i hope the porn channel in my room is disabled" The clerk looks at him, disgusted and replys:
"No, its normal you sick, sick bastard"
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Post by Blayze on Oct 13, 2008 12:23:28 GMT
a husband and wife have hit a rough patch in their marriage, after seeking advice the wife decides the best coarse of action is to spice up their sex life. so she waits while her husband comes home from work and as he gets through the door she seductively suggests going upstairs and making love. the husband replies back "great, why dont you go upstairs and slip into something more comfortable........... like a coma?"
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Post by Blayze on Oct 13, 2008 12:29:17 GMT
a woman in labour going through the agony that is childbirth screaming at her partner "YOU! YOU FUCKIN PRICK! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" the man replies "FUCK YOU! I WANTED TO DO YOU UP THE ARSE BUT NOOOOO YOU SAID IT WOULD HURT TOO FUCKIN MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Chris Ace
Thats The Spirit
Gonna run right through you with the lariat!
Posts: 66
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Post by Chris Ace on Oct 13, 2008 18:55:09 GMT
What's the difference between an Iraqi bomber and Basil Brush?
An Iraqi bomber only goes BOOM once.
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Post by Quinny_wont_save_u on Oct 13, 2008 20:03:59 GMT
haha chris thats a goodn
a boy walks into the bathroom while his mum is having a bath. He points to her vagina and says: whats that mummy? She replys: OH! thats my sponge. The boy then turns round and replys: Oh yes, of course it is... ive seen the babysitter washing daddys face with it!
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Post by Blayze on Oct 14, 2008 13:20:49 GMT
how did the drunk blonde find her way home?
she asked the football team where they slept last night!
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Post by LA - Made With Steel on Oct 21, 2008 14:21:43 GMT
Some Wrestlin Jokes
What did D'Von tell Bubba when they were working at McDonalds?
Oh Bubba, test the fries
God is a huge wrestling fan and decides to invite 3 TNA wrestlers to heaven for a meal. So Samoa Joe, Christian Cage and AJ Styles arrive and God is sitting at a small table in a huge golden chair. God addresses them first.
"My children, there are 3 seats at this table beside me, one on my right-hand, one on my left-left and one facing me. Where do you think you should be seated?"
AJ speaks first: "I'm AJ Styles, I am PHENOMENAL, I should be at your right-hand!"
God nods his head and says: "Be seated."
Chrstian follows the idea: "I'm Chrisitan Cage, I'm the instant classic! I should be at your left-hand!"
God nods and says: "Be seated."
Joe now steps forward, looks at AJ, then Chrisitan before staring at God and says: "You're in my seat!"
What did CM Punk tell Adam Copeland when he tried to feel him up?
I'm straight, Edge.
Why did James Wallace cross the road?
He didn't....everyone else did!
bit sick but here goes...
Latest news - Police have revealed another extract from Elizabeth Fritzl's diary:
Monday: Stayed in. Dad came down and fuc*ed me Tuesday: Stayed in. Got fuc*ed by Dad Wednesday: Stayed in. Dad fuc*ed me doggy style Thursday: Stayed in. Dad spun*ed on my face Friday: Stayed in. Dad gave my ar*e a right poundin' Saturday: Escaped, fled to Italy to watch the Ultimate Warriors return to wrestling. Wish I'd stayed in.....
Matt Hardy new something was going on when everytime he phoned Lita she was on Edge
New Chris Benoit tribute action figure out, sadly not for young kids though, choking hazard
Why didn't Godfather pin Owen Hart at Over the Edge?
Because the match was only scheduled for one fall
The Dudleys were getting ready for a dinner party when all of the sudden Bubba realized that they weren't prepared yet. Quickly he yelled...
"DVon! Set the table!" ----- You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.......
On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"
You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason
You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask
You Stun your bus after your fired.
You wont walk down the halls of school unless your entrance music is playing. ----- Why does Vince want to go to Heaven?
Cause he's got no chance in Hell... ----- why did Kevin Nash cross the road?
[he didn't, he tore his quad stepping off the curb.] ----- What's pink and black and goes round and round?
Bret Hart in a blender. ----- Why did Jerry Lawler go to the pet store?
Cos he wanted to see some puppies! ----- What is the difference between Chris Beniot and a monkey?
One is small, dull and has limited vocal ability. The other is a primate. ----- What does Earl Hebner and Bret Hart's wife have in common?
They both screwed him. ----- Why can't you find the Brock Lesnar toy in Toys R us?
Because he sold out. ----- If Scott Steiner became a religous leader, what would his name be?
Big Poppa Pope ----- What is Rey Misterio's Favorite type of music?
West Coast Pop ------ What does Stone Cold say to a woman with 2 black eyes??
Nothing, he already told her twice
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Post by LA - Made With Steel on Oct 21, 2008 14:27:24 GMT
Why did Hitler shoot himself?
He got the gas bill for Auschwitz.
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